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- From: stev0@smurf.sti.com (Steve Berlin)
- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
- Subject: Who's Who in the World of Kibo
- Date: 27 Nov 1992 13:16:50 -0800
- Message-ID: <1f6382INNjrq@smurf.sti.com>
- Organization: Software Transformation, Inc.
- Lines: 444
-
- There are many, many people mentioned in Kibo's famous .signature
- file. To help you folks get the "in" jokes and cultural references,
- I humbly present this encyclopedia I created (with a LOT of help
- from Kibo, especially with spelling) to know Who's Who in Kibo's .sig.
- (note: the numbers by the names indicate where that person is
- mentioned, as of Kibo's .sig of 11/11/92)
-
- =======================BEGIN OVER HERE===============================
- "Bob" (185-212)
-
- AKA J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. Hi Ruler of the Subgenii, very good friend of
- Kibo's, Giver of Slack(tm), smoker of 'frop. Widely regarded as
- evil, but in a good way. "Bob" is a registered trademark of the
- Church of the SubGenius.
- --
- Allen, Byron (737)
-
- The Black Pat Sajack. Friend of Kibo's.
- --
- BIFF (100)
-
- BR0THER HAS C-64 WITH L0TS 0F AWESUM WAREZ!!!1!11! WUZ A FRIEND
- 0F KIB0;S, BUT N0W ISNT'!!!!11!!!!1
- --
- Barbour, John (738)
-
- Someone who is less funny than Byron Allen, but a friend of Kibo's,
- anyway.
- --
- Barrett, Majel (522)
-
- Wife of famous Trekkie, good friend of Kibos'.
- --
- Barry, Dave (432)
-
- He is - and I am not making this up - a famous syndicated columnist.
- Friend of Kibos' (sic).
- --
- Batman (145, 495, 977)
-
- He's Batman! Good friend of Kibo's. Secret Identity: Bruce Wayne
- (also a good friend of Kibo's).
- --
- Berlin, Steve (874)
-
- Professor of Kibology at Miskatonic U. Friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Bozo (68, 72, 83, 107, 142, 482, 524, 660, 661-685,)
-
- No ordinary clown. The World's Most Famous Clown. Very, very good friend of
- Kibo's. Registered Trademark of Larry Harmon Productions, Inc.
- --
- Briggs, Bertha (174)
-
- Lottery winner, lucky dog owner, friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Brissete, Tiffany (644)
-
- A robot? A little girl? A friend of Kibo's? YOU decide!
- --
- Brockman, Amy S. (654)
-
- Social Commentator, friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Brokaw, Tom (342)
-
- Serious journalist, friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Brown, Charlie (92)
-
- The quintessential loser, but friend of Kibo's nonetheless.
- --
- Bundy, Al (196, 345)
-
- A man. A REAL Man. A Real Man's man. A Real friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Bundy, Peg (196)
-
- A Woman. A REAL Woman. A Real Man's Woman. Another friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Bundy, Ted (195)
-
- A Psycho. A REAL Psycho. A Real Psycho's Psycho. An enemy of Kibo's.
- Once tried to kill Kibo with a meat cleaver, tried to kill Eddie Haskell
- with a beaver cleaver.
- --
- Burroughs, William S. (540)
-
- A Postmodern didactic spokesman for the angst-ridden society of our
- planet. May be a friend of Kibo's, nobody's admitting anything.
- Rumored to have a talking asshole (which is not Kibo).
- --
- Bush, George (699)
-
- Not a friend of Kibo's, or anyone else who is not a white male
- president of a multi-national global-polluting corporation.
- --
- Carson, Johnny (737)
-
- Ex Talk show host, or, as they say in England, ex Chat show host.
- Friend of Kibo, and everyone else for that matter.
- --
- Cher (361)
-
- The tatooed lady. "Friend" of Kibo's.
- --
- Coates, Sean E. (369)
-
- E! Poster child, good friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Dali' (658)
-
- AKA Salvador Dali', most famous for a painting he did of a melted version
- of Kibo's .sig.
- --
- Danson, Ted (335)
-
- Plays the bartender at the most Evil Bar in America. While he himself
- is not a friend of Kibo's, his hairpiece is.
- --
- Dennehy, Brian (367)
-
- Friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Derrida (89)
-
- Writer, friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Dick, Philip K. (87)
-
- Dreamer of Electric Sheep, inspiration for the movie "The Trouble
- with Dick". The "K" stands for "Kibo".
- --
- Dominus, Jason (27, 865)
-
- One of the original contributors of Kibo's .sig, along with his brother,
- Mark. Now part of law firm, Mark, Jason, & Dominus.
- --
- Dominus, Mark (27, 865)
-
- See Dominus, Jason.
- --
- Douglas, Mike (205)
-
- Ex-talk show host, Star of "Basic Instict". Friend of Kibo's.
-
- --
- Dukakis, Michael S. (807)
-
- Not a friend of Kibo's, doesn't even KNOW Kibo, even though Kibo once saw
- him in the Public Garden once. John Kerry once said hello to Kibo, but
- he (John Kerry) looks like Jay Leno.
- --
- Elliot, Chris (344)
-
- The funniest person on American Television. Very good friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Elvis (148)
-
- See the Encyclopedia Kibanitica (or the Alt.religion.kibology FAQ) about this
- one. Considers Kibo to be his best friend.
- --
- Goldenstern, Michael Jackson (424)
-
- No relation to Michael Jackson the singer. Michael Jackson the singer
- is a friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Graber, Harry
-
- 11-Year old who is dying of a fatal disease. Want to break the world
- record for most copies of Kibo's .signature file.
- --
- Grishman (434)
-
- Computer programmer, friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Hall, Arsenio (737)
-
- Another talk show host, another friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Herman, Pee-wee (119, 129, 135, 347)
-
- Ex-host of Pee-wee's Playhouse. His favorite team is the Expos.
- He didn't hire a lawyer because he thought he could get himself off.
- Probably a friend of Kibo's, but Kibo may deny this.
- --
- Hersey, Dana (349, 699)
-
- Host of The Movie Loft and the real star of "Ask the Manager".
- Friend of Kibo's. AKA Willie Whistle, the world's least favorite
- clown. See them on WSBK-38 on cable throughout much of America.
- Also on "Ask the Manager". WSBK, the ALL-THREE STOOGES/HOGAN'S
- HEROES CHANNEL!
- --
- Hubbard, L. Ron (216, 696)
-
- Inventor of the E-Meter, creator the 200-point personality test.
- Kibo passed in flying colors.
- --
- Jittlov, Mike (621)
-
- Writer, director, animator, songwriter, singer, inventor, bicycle
- rider, and good friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Jones, Chuck (421)
-
- Creator of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, and Kibo.
- --
- Kafka (110)
-
- Part cockroach, part .sig. The cockroach half is a friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Keillor, Garrison (131)
-
- Radio personality. Not ashamed to be from Minnesota, not ashamed
- to admit Kibo is his friend.
- --
- Kibo
-
- See Parry, James.
- --
- King, Stephen (89)
-
- Horror book writer. Most famous for "The Shining", a book in which
- Jack Nicholson is trapped in a hotel with a 50 ft. .sig file.
- --
- La Rouchefoucauld (416)
-
- No relationship to Lyndon LaRouche. Would be a friend of Kibo's,
- but he's dead. Still is very quotable.
- --
- LaRouche, Lyndon (698)
-
- A wacko. Thinks he is a friend of Kibo's, but he's not. We would say he's
- a DANGEROUS wacko, but he would kill us if we did.
- --
- Laura (199)
-
- The object of many a necrophiliac's wet dreams. Ex girlfriend of Kibo.
- --
- Lee, Pinky (211)
-
- The inspiration for Pee-wee Herman. Aquaintance of Kibo's.
- --
- Log Lady (192-208)
-
- Another wacko. She rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs...
- --
- Lynch, David (184-212)
-
- Pretentious director. Most famous for directing "Dune", the dullest
- Science Fiction Film of all time. Friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Mathew (27)
-
- Co-designer of Kibo's Signature. Kibo forgot his last name (but can
- you blame Kibo? He has too many friends!)
- --
- Miro' (658)
-
- Painter; painted first known abstract portrait of Kibo'.
- --
- Newell, Gordon (417)
-
- Very difficult professor. Not a good friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Nixon (215)
-
- AKA Richard Nixon, first President of the United States to resign in
- shame. A friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Ollie (114)
-
- AKA Oliver North, after admitting to lying to Congress, ignoring the
- Constitution, supplying guns to Iranian terrorists and South American
- drug dealers, became American Folk Hero. Business Partner of Kibo's.
- --
- Oneel, Qnir (623-635)
-
- "Dave Barry" in rot13
- --
- Orwell (110)
-
- AKA George Orwell, writer of "1984", a bleak dystopian novel were
- ultrafascist government makes people have no more than four lines in
- their .sig files. Friend of you-know-who.
- --
- Osterbrock, Carol (964)
-
- Net Personality, friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Parry, James "Kibo" (63-66, 70, 94-95, 112, 114, 159-160, 169, 351, 654,
- 731-733, 769, 854, 875, 965)
-
- Typeface designer, Internet personality, and sex symbol for the 70's,
- 80's, and 90's; fighter for truth, justice, and the American Way.
- Millions of people can faithfully say they have no other friend.
- --
- Pfeiffer, Michelle (368)
-
- Winner of Oscar(tm) for Best Supporting Actress in Grease II. Friend
- of Kibo's. Was also in some film with Danny DeVito and Pee-wee Herman.
- --
- Pollock (658)
-
- AKA Jackson Pollock, original "splatter" painter. Used to have longest
- .Sig until Kibo came along.
- --
- Python, Monty (148, 194)
-
- The most quoted source in people's .sigs, with maybe the possible
- exception of Douglas Adams. Mr. Python is a very good friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Quayle, Dan (107, 116, 329)
-
- Frend of Kiboe's.
- --
- RMS (974)
-
- AKA Richard M. Stallman, "The Last Hacker". Thinks all software
- should be free, along with everything else. I want him to talk to my
- landlord. Very good friend of Kibo's.
- --
- Ren (893)
-
- A full-blooded Astmatic Chihuahua. Friend of Stimpy & Kibo
- --
- Rockwell (659)
-
- AKA Norman Rockwell, painter of Americana. Painted first known
- portrait of Kibo.
- --
- Roddenberry, Gene (799)
-
- Creator of Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Star Trek:
- The .Sig file. Very good friend of Kibo's. Kibo's belt buckle says so.
- --
- Safire, William (220)
-
- Syndicated columnist, ex-Nixon speechwriter, is less pedantic than Kibo,
- this is a comma splice.
- --
- Sagan, Carl (68)
-
- Astronomer and one of Kibo's billions and billions of friends.
- --
- Sajak, Pat (737)
-
- Host of "Wheel of Fortune", and is generally considered to be the
- greatest Talk Show Host of all time. Has a perfectly spherical head,
- but polyhedral hair. F__e_d _f __b_'s.
- --
- Salieri (660)
-
- Composer, murderer of Johann Amadeus Kibo, who is the writer of the
- immortal opera, "The Magic .Sig".
- --
- Schwarzenegger, Arnold (486-498)
-
- Terminator, Predator, Barbarian, Cop. Very, very good friend of
- Kibo's.
- --
- Scott, Williard (142)
-
- America's favorite buffoon. Friend of Kibo's, even though Kibo
- has no respect for him.
- --
- Scotty (133)
-
- Engineer of NCC-1701, aka the Starship Enterprise. Regularly
- changes the laws of physics. Friend of Kibo's great great
- granddaughter, Uhura Kibo.
- --
- Shatner, William (336, 522-525)
-
- The best writer, the best director, the best singer, and certainly
- the best actor of all time. Friend of Kibo's. His hairpiece is a
- friend of Ted Danson's hairpiece.
- --
- Simpson, Bart (91, 199, 253-261)
-
- Icon, in all senses of the word. While he is not a friend of Kibo's,
- per se, his friends, Akbar and Jeff, are.
- --
- Sontag, Susan (329)
-
- Bride of Frankenstein, ex-wife of Kibo.
- --
- Spot (48-56, 357)
-
- he's JUST A DOG!
- --
- Stephenson, Skip (738)
-
- Someone who is about as funny as John Barbour. Tragically died in 1992,
- got the shortest possible UPI obituary. A prime example of the Least
- Possible Celebrity.
- --
- Stimpy (893)
-
- AKA Stimpson J. Cat, friend of Ren, Kibo, and Muddy Mudskipper
- --
- Tanguy (658)
-
- Painted first nude portrait of Kibo.
- --
- Villachaise, Herve (212)
-
- AKA "Tattoo" on the hit TV show "Small Wonder". Friend of Kibo
- --
- Voltaire (422)
-
- French philosopher, writer, statesman, and too dead to be Kibo's
- friend.
- --
- Vonnegut, Kurt (85)
-
- AKA Kilgore Trout. Most famous books: "Breakfast of Kibo", "Welcome
- to the Kibo House", "Sirens of Kibo", and so on.
- --
- Warhol, Andy (477, 658)
-
- Predicted that everyone would be mentioned in Kibo's .signature for
- 15 minutes.
- --
- Whistle, Willie
-
- See Hersey, Dana
- --
- Wright, Steven (354)
-
- Stand up comedian, friend of Kibo's. Shared a dorm room until Kibo got
- nervous.
- --
- Xibo (66, 536)
-
- A bitter enemy of Kibo's. Rumored to be a failed AI project, unlike
- Kibo.
-
- --
- Steve Berlin . +I * .o o.* ` `B +. |"I just know that something
- stev0@sti.com ' K * . ' ' |\^/| `. * .O * |good is gonna happen!"
- .sig (c) 1992 by Mike Jittlov [for all the protection that affords]
- .sig re-mixed by Stev0 (c) 1992 - Four line unwarlordable dub mix
-